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I started the morning with a admirable invitation: “Let’s accept breakfast,” the accountable band chirped.

How nice!

The sender: “Donald J. Trump”

Um. What?

This was afterwards an allurement to banquet aftermost month. “Join me in Dallas,” Trump asked in that note, afore acclamation me as “friend.”

And because we’re friends, the admiral confided in me: “The media is CLUELESS aback it comes to compassionate what voters anticipate about our country.”

So maybe not BFFs.

But aback we’re friends, he charge additionally apperceive I already alleged him “a bloviating yam.”

And I’m abiding he knows that aback in March 2016 I was already afraid that his acerbic bluff would alloy American kids with the “Trump effect.”

Maybe he wants to altercate toning bottomward his abode over a crisp steak and eggs?

Or maybe he absolutely admired it aback I predicted he would accept the “Apprentice presidency” and he wants to acquaint me who is activity to be accursed next.

Wait a minute. I know. He wants to acknowledge me for giving him acclaim for lighting the torches of white supremacy in Charlottesville this summer! That’s it.

[Trump lit the torches of white supremacy in Charlottesville. We charge extinguish them.]

Frankly, I’m stumped. Because I accept said it in a box, I accept said it with a fox, I accept said it with a mouse, I accept said it with a house. I do not like that bloviating yam, I do not like him, Sam I am. And I can’t accept why he’d allure me anywhere.

When I annal bottomward on the admirable invites, that are done to arise as admitting they’re advancing beeline from The Donald himself, I see he wants added than a meal with me. The billionaire wants my money: $3 to be exact.

See, anybody abroad at that banquet in Dallas — a blatant fundraiser abounding of the one-percenters — had to pay amid $2,700 and $35,000 for a seat.

That breakfast he capital me to accept with him in New York? It’s the “Holiday in Manhattan” fundraiser area the aristocratic are spending amid $1,000 and $50,000 for the adventitious to breach eggs with him.

And his allurement will accord me the adventitious to access a raffle — with a minimum $3 buy-in — to get a bench amid his wealthiest supporters.

It’s all fundraising for 2020, the Accomplish America Abundant Afresh Committee and the Republican National Committee architecture up their war chest, nibbling abroad at people’s wallets by stoking their commander-in-chief fantasies, at $3 a pop.

Clearly, the association active the fundraising campaigns assassin the aforementioned geniuses who put Bo Obama on the home folio of the tax bill or absitively the aboideau at Dachau would accomplish a air-conditioned affiche to advertise at Walmart.

Because if they ask me for cash, who abroad are they awkward the tin cup at?

Maybe Hillary has some change in the basal of her purse?

Would Marshawn Lynch appetite to go all in?

Or conceivably Juli Briskman can dip into some of the banknote association beatific to her as a acknowledgment for flipping off Trump’s motorcade?

[Flipping off Admiral Trump has afflicted Juli Briskman’s life]

I’m not the alone last-person-on-Earth-to-give-money-to-Trump who got these solicitations.

I begin a few added journalists and affluence of anti-Trump activists who accept been analogously arrive to accord and dine.

Vikki Kauffman is absolutely articulate about her action to Trump. She raises poodles, but her amusing media augment is all politics.

And she was additionally abashed to get the aforementioned email I got from our president. She acquaint it on Facebook — to howls from her agreeing accompany in Seattle.

“I could see myself actuality all nice yes I’ll go . . . I would adulation to accommodated him . . . Yada yada . . . afresh get there and absolutely accord him a allotment of my mind! Ha!” one of Kauffman’s accompany replied.

“Oh I anticipate we’d aftermost about 30 abnormal afore actuality escorted out by the abstruse service,” addition one said.

Debbie Newlin, a Republican who disdains the one in the White House, is additionally accepting all those emails, alike admitting she keeps autograph aback to the RNC about her anger with Trump.

“I accept accustomed untold numbers of telephonic, emailed and snail-mailed polls, surveys and solicitations allurement for my support. I accept been actual bright in my refusals,” Newlin told me. “In fact, I beatific aback several mailed solicitations on which I had written, ‘I will not anytime accomplish a addition of abutment to this affair as continued as Donald Trump is a candidate.’ ”

No luck, though. She keeps accepting them.

Sean Walsh, a advocate in Olympia, Wash., has no clue why he additionally started accepting such affable addendum from the president.

“I don’t apperceive how I got on their email list,” he said.

“I accept protested him, but so did my wife who doesn’t accept those emails,” he said. “Also, my accessory who voted for Trump doesn’t accept them. It is a mystery.”

So I asked Cassie Smedile, a columnist secretary for the Republican National Committee, to advice me amount it out.

It didn’t booty continued to get her acknowledgment afterwards her tech association crawled through their data.

I active up for attack updates in the summer of 2016, she told me.

A accustomed affair for a anchorman to do. In fact, any abreast American should try to apprentice about anniversary candidate. But does that beggarly they should be allurement me for money now?

They anticipate so. A year afterwards the election, the RNC association are accomplishing “database maintenance,” she said.

And that agency they’re attractive at any email abode they accept that isn’t already allotment of their accepted donor abject and seeing whether they can get banknote out of it.

Ah, yes. That makes faculty now to Kauffman, the poodle woman. She remembers abutting activists who were signing up for Trump rallies during the campaign, alone to skip them, a tactic to compress Trump’s army size.

“Oh, we were so aboveboard and hopeful aback then,” she said.

The GOP’s action is working, Smedile said.

“The RNC is adopting aberrant amounts of money from accustomed Americans via online outreach,” Smedile said. “We are beholden to the added than 300,000 new online small-dollar donors who are abutting our accomplishment in abutment of Admiral Trump’s mission to accomplish America abundant again.”

I assumption I could bounce for the $3 access fee. I’m abiding I could get a acceptable cavalcade out of that arrant breakfast in Manhattan.

Then again, that alone agency I’ll accumulate accepting added emails from the yam.

Twitter: @petulad

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